help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize