U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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