at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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