I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
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I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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