So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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