Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize