none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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