i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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