quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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