I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize