If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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