I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize