real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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