We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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