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I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We left an ass print on the piano.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
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