Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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(607): I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me http://tfl.nu/xbef

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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(402): I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed. http://tfl.nu/mbr1

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(253): View more from Washington

I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.

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(253): I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw. http://tfl.nu/27va

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.

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(775): I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;) (1-775): Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city. http://tfl.nu/zbb5

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(407): View more from Florida

It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.

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(407): It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it. http://tfl.nu/o8fq

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(707): View more from California

he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?

(1-707): View more from California

logic in its finest

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(707): he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i? (1-707): logic in its finest http://tfl.nu/z7qz

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.

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(502): You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down. http://tfl.nu/88lm

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

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(+44): It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people. http://tfl.nu/mlxk

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate

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(508): i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate http://tfl.nu/vubl

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(518): View more from New York

We left an ass print on the piano.

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(518): We left an ass print on the piano. http://tfl.nu/qaoo

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(518): View more from New York

...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.

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(518): ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified. http://tfl.nu/6dxz

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?

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(919): Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill? http://tfl.nu/kp4x

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.

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(608): I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/60pl

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(313): View more from Michigan

Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.

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(313): Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me. http://tfl.nu/c83j

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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(401): I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE. http://tfl.nu/jvh7

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