I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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