My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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