I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize