maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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