A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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