Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize