I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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