i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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