Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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