More tranny stories later!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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