The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize