Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize