you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
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My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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