I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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