If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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