Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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