His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize