I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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