are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize