well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize