Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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