i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
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I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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