Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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