hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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