Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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