So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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