i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize