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he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
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