if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
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its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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