it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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