Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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