he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize