it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize