I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
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She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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