I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize